I’ve washed my hands more times that I can count today, but they still smell of smoke and onions and garlic. I began the morning by chopping vegetables, preparing my mise en place for braised beef short ribs (tomorrow night’s dinner) and for barbecue baked beans (part of tonight’s dinner). While the short ribs were braising, releasing meaty aromas into the kitchen, I kept an eye on the temperature of the Big Green Egg, opening and closing the vents in the top to keep the pork butts inside smoking at a steady 300 degrees.

Tonight we’ll gather with my parents, my grandmother, my aunt and uncle and cousins, and we’ll dine on pulled pork with vinegar sauce (thanks to this book for the recipes), barbecue baked beans, and potato salad.  We’ll have the short ribs tomorrow, served over creamy grits. And we’ll have champagne, too.

We’ll drink the bubbly to celebrate the end of 2011 and the beginning of the new year. And gosh, I am so ready for a new year.

I have mixed emotions about 2011. I’ve had some wonderful experiences throughout the year, but everything has been overshadowed by my father’s health. Since January 29th, our lives have revolved around a series of emergency room visits, hospitalizations, rehab stays, and doctors appointments. It’s been a rollercoaster of emotions, but I’ve been trying to focus my efforts on getting used to the new Dad.

I’m having a hard time with that, but I’ll keep trying.

It will be good to see 2011 growing smaller in the rear-view mirror of life.  My hopes for 2012 are not tremendously high — I’m a realist, after all — but I’m pretty sure it will be a better year than 2011 was.

I’d like 2012 to be the year that my dad uses his walker comfortably, and without a fear of falling.

In 2012, I’ll get to hug my brother again.

In 2012, we’re taking our kids on two pretty cool family vacations – a Disney cruise to start, and then a trip to California next summer.

In 2012, I turn 40. My husband and I will celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary. My daughter will start 3rd grade and my son will be in kindergarten. Lots of milestones with happy potential there.

I want 2012 to be the year that I write more – and more often. Fiction is a dream for me, but it’s never going to happen if I don’t start writing it. And maybe I won’t be very good at it, but at least I will have tried.

I would love to be healthier in 2012. And I will be.

To ring in the new year, and bid goodbye to that stinker of a year, 2011, here’s a cocktail for you. I raise my glass to you, dear readers, and toast to your health and happiness and peacefulness in 2012.

Cheers to a more beautiful 2012.

*   *   *   *   *

Because I think it would be good for me, I’m going to take a couple of weeks off from regular posting here at the merry gourmet. It’s always hard for me to stay completely away, but I’m going to try. See you again in January!

Yield: 1 drink

St. Honoré 75

Ingredients:

1 ounce St. Germain elderflower liqueur
1/2 ounce Meyer lemon juice
Champagne or other bubbly (cava, prosecco, sparkling wine)
Lemon twist, for garnish

Directions:

In a chilled champagne flute, add St. Germain and lemon juice. Top with the bubbly and garnish with a lemon twist.

Tweaked from the recipe from St. Germain's website.

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It’s Christmas Eve, and as I type this — with my hands smelling of butter and vanilla — the pumpkin pies are baking in the oven, the cornbread dressing has been prepared and is awaiting its final bake tomorrow, the sugar cookies for Santa have been decorated, there is a fresh batch of fudge cooling on the counter, and the kids are riding their bikes outside.

It’s unseasonably warm — close to 80 degrees this last week. I’ve done my fair share of complaining about the warmth, but truthfully, it’s great weather for sending the kids outside to play. And, boy have mine needed to get out and run some energy off.

Our Elf on the Shelf, Ollie, has been probably been filling Santa’s ear with enough fodder for years to come. Madeline has been the sweetest child ever, but Oliver…well, Oliver is a boy and he’s five. That’s probably all I need to say for you to understand what we’re going through. Ollie the Elf got ticked off this morning at Oliver’s behavior and took a hike back to the North Pole earlier than planned. Turns out that Ollie leaving early seems to have helped matters some.

I’m just thankful that the Elf finally had a positive impact on behavior. We’ve sure waited long enough.

So, tomorrow is Christmas. What I’m most looking forward to is spending tomorrow with my family. The kids will wake us up early, but the excitement on their faces as they open their presents and dig through their stockings will be worth any amount of aggravation from lost sleep. My parents and in-laws will come over for an afternoon meal, filled with more food than any of us can eat. I’ll be thinking of my sweet brother, who won’t be with us tomorrow but who I’ll hopefully get to see again in the spring.

The beauty of Christmas is that there are no expectations for the day, other than to relax, enjoy each others’ company, feel blessed, and of course, to eat well.

And, of course, we’ve mastered the eating well part.

My wish to you is that — whether you’re celebrating Christmas or not — you enjoy a day filled with love, joyfulness, beauty, and peace. Thank you for being a part of my life. I’m grateful to you for that.

*Photos by Shandon of Lifeprints Photography.

The house has been strangely silent since Sunday afternoon. There has been no kids’ television on, which means no canned laughter or lilting children’s songs adding to our home’s background noise. There has not been any whining or crying or yelling…and definitely no laughing or giggling. No doors slamming or feet stomping up the stairs or the musical electronic sounds of the iPad games that Oliver likes to play so much.

My mother has kept our children for the last three nights, providing us with very cheap childcare until I can be off work for the holidays. With school out for Christmas, we usually struggle a bit with where the kids should go during the day. This time — like many other times — Nana came to the rescue. And the kids were thrilled to go to Nana’s for a three night “sleepover” in the country. Sam and I have had a delightful break from parenting, but we miss the kids and all the chaos that they bring to our lives.

It’s just been too quiet with them gone.

Usually, I do my best writing at my home office desk, while managing to (mostly) tune out the cacophony of noises that arise from having a 5 year old, an 8 year old, two cats, and a husband in the house. I’ve struggled with writing for the last three nights, and I’m just realizing that perhaps it is because I’m missing that noise and those distractions that, ironically, manage to keep my brain focused.

That doesn’t make sense at all, does it?

I can’t explain the writing process that I use, but when the words come, they come, and when they don’t come, well…you end up with silence here on the blog for several days. And I end up with a building sense of frustration.

The kids come home Wednesday night, so life as we know it will be restored. I’ll be off work and home for a nice holiday break starting on Thursday. I’m gearing up for Christmas meal planning, wrapping the last of the presents, and baking up some holiday cookies for the first time this season.

I’m pretty sure this is cause for celebration – with cake!

If you, like me, are a fan of chocolate, you will want to bake this cake. The kids have already requested that I bake it again for Christmas, and Madeline has taken to calling it the “Brownie Cake” because of its brownie-like texture and density. I’ve caught my husband slicing off little bits when he thinks I’m not looking – and even when he knows I am. It’s very rich and heavy, and I recommend serving it with lightly-sweetened whipped cream (homemade, of course) or with a scoop of vanilla ice cream.

Even better, warm a slice of cake up a little bit in the microwave and then plop a scoop of vanilla ice cream next to it.  Go ahead and put a cherry on top while you’re at it. I didn’t, but hindsight is 20/20, as they say.

Yield: 12-14 servings

Chocolate Bundt Cake

Feel free to sprinkle confectioners sugar over the top of the cake when you're ready to serve it, or just serve it with a dollop of lightly-sweetened whipped cream.

Use a 10-inch bundt pan (3-quart) for this cake.

Ingredients:

1 cup unsweetened cocoa powder (not Dutch-process), plus extra for dusting pan
1-1/2 cups brewed coffee
1/2 cup Grand Marnier
2 sticks (1 cup) unsalted butter, cut into 1-inch pieces
2 cups granulated white sugar
2 cups all-purpose flour
1-1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
2 large eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
1/3 cup mini chocolate chips

Directions:

Preheat oven to 325 degrees and place oven rack in the middle position. Spray the bundt pan well with baking spray with flour, or butter the pan well and dust with cocoa powder (about 3 tablespoons), knocking out the excess.

Over medium heat, heat coffee, Grand Marnier, butter, and cocoa powder together in a 3-quart saucepan, whisking until the butter is melted. Remove from heat, add sugar, and stir well until dissolved, about 1 minute. Transfer mixture to a large bowl and cool for at least 5 minutes.

While the chocolate mixture cools, whisk together flour, baking soda, and salt in a bowl. In a second, smaller bowl, whisk together eggs and vanilla, then whisk into the cooled chocolate mixture until well incorporated. Add flour mixture and whisk until just combined. Batter will be thin and bubbly at this point. Fold in chocolate chips. Pour batter into bundt pan and bake for 45-50 minutes, until a wooden toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.

Cool cake completely in pan on a rack, approximately 2 hours, then loosen cake from pan using the tip of a sharp knife. Carefully invert pan over a cake plate and turn cake out onto plate.

Adapted from a recipe for Chocolate Whiskey Bundt Cake from Gourmet, September 2005.

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