bright, shiny spots of happiness: yellow cake with chocolate frosting
One Saturday night back in the late 1980s – it must have been 1988 or 1989 – my friend Carrie and I were out “driving around.” This is what we did during our high school years, once my friends and I had our drivers licenses – and a car. In our small, one-high-school, one-movie-theater town, there wasn’t much for teenage kids to do. So, we drove around. We drove loops through the town, from the fast food restaurants on the west side, to the neighborhoods of the east side, and back again. We gossiped, we sang along with The Cure and the B52s and Drivin’ N Cryin’, we agonized over our current dating (or not dating) situations, and we looked for other friends who were out driving around, too.
On that night, Carrie and I were discussing what it meant to be a grown-up. Both of us were headed to college, and on that night, we might have known that I was heading to the University of Florida and that she was headed to Stetson. But that may have come later. I think it was Carrie’s idea, but I embraced it: being grown up meant buying your own toilet paper. Yes, that was it. THAT’s what it meant to be an adult. We christened the idea the Toilet Paper Rule.
I’ve bought a lot of toilet paper since that night, and I can look back on my 16-year old self and confidently say that we were wrong.
There have been many moments in my 40 years of life when the thought crossed my mind: “This is it. Now I’m a grown-up.” Paying my bills in college, with money I earned from the job I worked while studying full time. Getting married and moving in with my husband. Having our first child over nine years ago.
Nothing has made me feel more my age, though, than caring for my sick father.
I sat at Dad’s bedside yesterday in the nursing home, and I talked to him about life outside. I talked about my kids, about the fact that my mother had taken a much-needed, impromptu trip to the beach for a night. Finally, I talked to him about his role as Mayor in his small town, and how it would be best if he stepped down. I held his hand as I told him that, because being Mayor is one of his most favorite things. I upset him with this, for he doesn’t understand his limitations, he doesn’t realize that he has dementia. He cried when I left.
I thought about the toilet paper rule on my drive home. I was so naive back then.
I’m trying to find bright, shiny spots of happiness in the small things these days. And, despite everything I’m balancing on my shoulders, there are lots of things giving me joy right now:
— Eastern bluebirds are everywhere these days. These sweet birds have a special place in my heart, maybe because I never saw them in Florida until about three years ago. Yesterday, as I walked into the hospital, I saw a male and female pair perched on a tree branch. Just the sight of those two birds made my morning.
— I bought myself an orchid, a gift to myself for Mother’s Day. I set it on the kitchen table on Monday afternoon after bringing it home from Trader Joe’s, and each day, it looks happier to be here. Another bloom opened yesterday.
— We’re headed to Walt Disney World this weekend for the Food Blog Forum Orlando. I’m looking forward to meeting new people and seeing old friends. Mostly, I’m looking forward to being surrounded by Disney magic for a few days.
— I finished a book over the weekend, in just two days (which is very quick for me given my limited reading time). The Dinner
— There’s this food blog conference in June — you may have heard of it: BlogHer Food — and I’m thrilled to be speaking on a panel about storytelling. Last week I had a conference call with the three other panelists — Molly from Orangette, Rachel from Southern Fairytale, and Jenny from Dinner: A Love Story — and after that call, I’m even more excited about the entire experience.
— Cake. Really, that’s all I need to say. I’m finding happiness in cake. A couple of weekends ago, on a rainy Saturday, I baked this yellow cake with chocolate frosting. Despite the gloomy weather outside, my heart felt light as I mixed ingredients and frosted cake layers. We enjoyed slices of cake for our dessert that night, and I forgot to take a photo of the sliced cake until the next day. The cake is a bit lopsided, the frosting is not terribly even, and there are crumbs everywhere. But I don’t care. It made me happy.
Yield: 10-12 servings
Yellow Cake with Chocolate Frosting
Need a birthday cake? A graduation-from-kindergarten cake? A just-because-it's-Saturday cake? This is it.
Ingredients:
For the cake:
1/2 cup buttermilk, room temperature
4 large eggs, room temperature
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1-3/4 cup (7 ounces; 200 grams) cake flour
1-1/2 cup (10.5 ounces; 300 grams) granulated sugar
1-3/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
3/4 teaspoon salt
16 tablespoons (2 sticks) butter, cut into 16 pieces, softened
For the frosting:
16 ounces semisweet chocolate, chips or chopped
2 cups heavy cream
1/2 cup (4 ounces; 110 grams) firmly packed light brown sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
Directions:
Prepare Cake:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees, with oven rack in middle position. Butter two 8-inch cake pans, line with parchment paper, butter the parchment, then lightly flour the pans.
Whisk buttermilk, eggs, and vanilla together in a small bowl.
Using a stand mixer with the paddle attachment, mix the flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, and salt on low speed until combined. Add the butter, one piece at a time, and mix until pea-sized pieces remain, for about 1 minute. Add most of the milk mixture, reserving 1/2 cup of it, and beat on medium-high for about 1 minute. Reduce speed to medium low and add in the reserved 1/2 cup of the milk mixture. Beat until incorporated, about 30 seconds.
Divide batter evenly into the two cake pans, smoothing the tops. Bake for 25-30 minutes, or until a cake tester or toothpick inserted into the center comes out with few crumbs attached. Let cakes cool in the pan for 10 minutes, then remove cakes from pan and cool on wire cooling racks until room temperature before frosting, about 2 hours.
Make Frosting:
Place the chocolate in a medium-sized heatproof bowl. In a saucepan over medium heat, combine the cream and light brown sugar. When the cream begins to simmer, quickly remove the pan from the heat and pour into the bowl of chocolate, carefully swirling the bowl so that all the chocolate is covered. Cover with plastic wrap and let the mixture sit for 5 minutes. Remove the plastic wrap and whisk the mixture gently until smooth and shiny, then stir in vanilla. Refrigerate for 1 to 1-1/2 hours, stirring every 15 minutes, until the frosting reaches spreading consistency.
Frost the Cake:
To frost cakes, place 1 layer on a cake plate. With an offset spatula, spread top with chocolate frosting. Place the second layer on top, and spread frosting evenly over top and sides of cake.
Cake and frosting adapted from recipes from Cook's Illustrated's The Science of Good Cooking
Print
Twenty six years ago my dad was slowing dying of a degenerative heart disease when my mom passed suddenly and unexpectedly of a heart attack. I worked in Brooklyn at the time. I remember looking longingly at buses coming over the Brooklyn Bridge because I thought having enough courage to throw myself under one might put me out of my misery. I’m glad I had the courage to keep putting one foot in front of the other and I like your way much better….looking at blue birds instead of those darn buses! Your courage, your grace, your love of life, family, medicine and cakes will carry you. Your writing will continue to inspire us to not only look back with gratitude but look forward with joy and hope. Thank you for sharing.
Di, it’s comments like yours that bring the brightest & shiniest of the happy spots in my life right now. Thank you.
Bright shiny spots of happiness is the best phrase I’ve heard in a long time. I hope you manage to keep finding them, despite everything that’s going on.
Well done, Merry Jennifer! The cake looks yummy!
Ahhhh, here’s to those CHS nights driving around in our ol’ one-theater stomping grounds… Please keep sharing your “bright, shiny spots of happiness” with us, Merry Jennifer. Your heart-felt writing is always a pleasure to read.
We definitely have to look for and cherish the bright, shiny spots of happiness <3
Love this story, love the cake, and can't wait until June!!
<3 Rachel
Have fun at Walt Disney World!!! Even as an adult there is plenty of Disney magic there. Food forum sounds really fun.
Lovely spots of happiness. Thank you for the inspiration – I might borrow a few…
I really just wanted to send you a warm, comforting hug. I’m glad you’re able to look at the bright spots – harder than it seems sometimes I’m sure.
Isn’t it funny that we never really feel like we’re a grown up, aren’t cognizant of it, till it sucks? Sigh
Enjoy the bright spots on your horizon
I know you will be able to hear a pin drop when you speak about story telling at the BlogHer conference.
This wonderful post and your inner strength and grace makes me think of the last line of one of my favourite poems, Desiderata by Max Ehrmann *With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful, strive to be happy* You epitomize this.
in spite of so many things going on MJ you are just inspirational and full of positivity 🙂 thanks for sharing this happy cake. I just bought a new cake pan and very excited to find my happiness soon
Reading your site is always a bright spot in my day, and this post is no exception! This afternoon, it was a much needed distraction from a long afternoon with a screaming baby. With everything you are going through right now, it’s good to see that you are still finding joy. Knowing that you are going to be speaking about story telling at BHF is making me wish I was going! I admire your courage when you write… Story telling is one of the areas on my site that I tend to neglect.
You are such a strong woman, caring for your Dad like that. I can only imagine how difficult it is to watch him with each passing day. I love how you focus on the good in the world , even the little things like the birds and a cake can change your day (and your entire outlook on life) around! The cake, by the way, looks amazing! Can’t wait to meet your at BlogHer Food!
yummmm!! such a beautiful cake! pinning!