still here

My birthday yesterday was not quite what I expected.

That’s life, though. Just when you believe you have things all figured out, all arranged, nice and neat and wrapped up with a pretty pink ribbon, something happens to show you who’s boss. Or rather, that you’re NOT the boss. And definitely not as IN CONTROL as you may have thought.

I’ve been spending my time hanging out in the intensive care unit with my dad. He had a fall in the evening on October 13th. It should never have happened, but it did. He fell on his right side, onto a chair. In the process, he managed to break four or five ribs, in two places each.

tubes & monitors

The rib fractures were one thing, but the other major problem was that he developed a right sided pneumothorax because of them. A chest tube was placed, to open up the lung. He did better. Then he did worse. He got confused. He threw something at his nurse. He was restrained. Then he was less confused. And then his breathing worsened.

And worsened.

And worsened again.

And two days ago, the ICU physicians intubated him and placed him on a ventilator, to breathe for him. That’s where we are now.

In the meantime, my family is living on take out food. My work is getting neglected. I’m distracted. My husband is doing all of the work around the house, taking care of the children, dealing with our refrigerator (which keeps on breaking, repeatedly), and being my rock. He’s doing all of this so I can spend my time with Dad. I don’t know what I’d do without him.

He’s pretty amazing, my husband.

My dad is pretty amazing too.

I love them both so much it hurts.


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30 Responses to “still here”

  1. 1
    Angie @ Bigbearswife — October 20, 2011 @ 8:29 pm

    Happy Late Birthday hun!

    Thinking of you, your dad and family!

  2. 2
    Kristina @ spabettie — October 20, 2011 @ 8:34 pm

    oh, I am sorry! sending healing thoughts to your dad, comfort to all of you!

  3. 3
    kamran siddiqi — October 20, 2011 @ 9:00 pm

    Happy belated birthday, my friend! Sending you a huge hug and lots of positive energy and prayers!

  4. 4
    Wenderly — October 20, 2011 @ 9:19 pm

    Sending you hugs, love & light to lift you and hold you tight.

  5. 5
    Melissa — October 20, 2011 @ 9:21 pm

    Just over a year ago I was in the same place you are now with my dad. Seeing your photo of an ICU room just made my entire chest tighten up. I’m sending you every positive thought I can muster up for your dad, you and your family.

  6. 6
    Georgie — October 20, 2011 @ 9:24 pm

    Sending you the sweetest wishes ever!

  7. 7
    Anneliesz — October 20, 2011 @ 9:59 pm

    Oh Merry. I’m sorry your dad is in the hospital but glad that you are able to spend the time with him. Sending you a big hug.

  8. 8
    Sam — October 20, 2011 @ 10:18 pm

    I’m seconding everyone on sending healing thoughts. And an extra big hug for you.

  9. 9
    DessertForTwo — October 20, 2011 @ 11:43 pm

    We are all thinking about ya, praying for ya, and sending lots of good wishes y’all’s way.

    Much love,

  10. 10
    SMITH BITES — October 20, 2011 @ 11:44 pm

    Am grateful you have a good support system MJ including a wonderful husband; sad that you’re going thru this but again grateful you also have time to spend w/your dad. (((hugs)))

  11. 11
    Mardi@eatlivetravelwrite — October 21, 2011 @ 6:55 am

    Merry Jennifer. YOU are pretty darned amazing too. Sending healing vibes to your dad and hugs and love to everyone else. Especially you.

  12. 12
    Jamie — October 21, 2011 @ 7:06 am

    I know how it hurts. Thinking of you. xo

  13. 13
    Judith Klinger — October 21, 2011 @ 8:03 am

    Hang in there. What choice do we have?
    Sending you a hug full of warmth and strength. If I had a magic wand I’d fix the fridge too.

  14. 14
    Chris @ The Peche — October 21, 2011 @ 8:40 am

    Thinking of you, friend. We’re not so far that we can’t drive to help if you need us.

  15. 15
    Kim Foster — October 21, 2011 @ 9:13 am

    Oh babe, this post is so full of love.

    Thinking of you, MJ. Sending your dad special prayers. xo

  16. 16
    Erin @ A Nesting Experience — October 21, 2011 @ 10:20 am

    Take care and happy birthday.

  17. 17
    Michelle Ledesma — October 21, 2011 @ 10:35 am

    During this time of distraction, from the bottom of my heart, I am sending up prayers for continued strength and grace for both you and your rock of a husband . I won’t worry about you, because that’s not what you you want. But I’m thinking of you, and your family. Sending hugs. Do take care.

  18. 18
    Colleen — October 21, 2011 @ 1:16 pm

    I am so sorry about what you are going through. My heart goes out to you. I wish you strength.

  19. 19
    Di — October 21, 2011 @ 3:05 pm

    I am sorry to hear about your father; sadly there are things in life we can’t go around….we just have to go through them. You don’t know me, but I have become a big fan over the last few months and I feel like I know you. My god daughter recommended your site (she’s a dr. in Fl and a Gator). Her grandmother told me when my own parents were ill (25 years ago) … “This is your time, honey.” We all have a time in our lives when we face our parents fragility. This is your time, Jennifer. I am sure you are heart-broken. I wish you, your husband and your family strength and peace.

  20. 20
    LisaK — October 21, 2011 @ 3:06 pm

    Happy Late Birthday! I’m so sorry your dad is sick. Sending hugs and healing thoughts.

  21. 21
    themacaronqueen — October 21, 2011 @ 3:30 pm

    I’m sorry about your loss :(. Be strong and hope everything will get better. I hope a macaron can put a smile back in your face.

  22. 22
    delia — October 21, 2011 @ 10:13 pm

    Sorry to hear about what’s been going on. Thinking of you.

  23. 23
    Macaroni Mama — October 21, 2011 @ 10:50 pm

    The Merry Gourmet is a WONDERFUL daughter, mother, friend, and doctor. I appreciate all the love you send to her. P.S. I’m a terrible cook. I don’t even want to learn how.

  24. 24
    SweetSugarBelle — October 21, 2011 @ 11:30 pm

    I am so sorry you’re going through this, MJ. Wishing heath and healing to your dad, peace for you, and smooth sailing for your hubby and kids. Sending brighter skies and blue pastures your way.

  25. 25
    Cheryl Arkison — October 22, 2011 @ 10:12 am

    Oh, it was your birthday too? Happy Birthday, as much as you can find the happiness.

    This is a very tough road you are on right now, but we’re here for you.

    (And I took photos in the hospital too. I don’t know why and I have a hard time if I run across them now, but I was compelled to at the time.)

  26. 26
    Aggie — October 22, 2011 @ 3:30 pm

    This makes me want to cry, MJ. I know how much you love your daddy and I am praying for a speedy recovery.

    hang in there. You can celebrate your bday big time when this nightmare is over and your daddy is home safe & sound.

  27. 27
    Brian @ A Thought For Food — October 23, 2011 @ 9:09 am

    You have been through so much darling! I am glad that you’re father is no longer being intubated. Sending you sweet thoughts, my dear!

  28. 28
    Lana — October 23, 2011 @ 12:25 pm

    Happy belated birthday! I am at a similar place in life, taking care of my ailing mother, while my husband is holding our family fort. You are a strong and loving person, and your dad is lucky to have you near him when he needs you. My thoughts are with you and your family. Hugs!

  29. 29
    Paula — October 25, 2011 @ 2:42 pm

    I’m sorry that I’m late to reading this and hoping that by now your poor Dad is showing some improvement. What an awful thing to have happened to him. It certainly wasn’t the way I’m sure you had planned to spend your birthday but the important thing is your family is together to help your Dad heal.
    Keeping you all in my prayers MJ.

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